Letting Go

Relationships are hard to let go of. We worry that if we let a relationship fade, we may lose many things that we feel cannot be regained such as:

 

-The person themselves

 

-The valuable time and effort we carved out for that relationship

 

-The version of ourselves we were with that person

 

-A version of our realityThe truth is, life is a continuous process of loss. And as humans, we find that a tricky concept to say the least! Loss feels so threatening because we adapted from ancestors for which loss of resources and food would’ve certainly meant death. This is why today we accumulate and hoard things we don’t necessarily need or value, including relationships. In the pursuit of feeling safe, we often forget to ask ourselves whether, in the words of Marie Kondo, these relationships continue to spark joy.It’s easy to forget in the whirlwind of it all, that loss can gift us so much wisdom. Through letting go of old relationships that no longer serve us we:

 

1. Create space for new relationships that align better with who we are now and feel more fulfilling as a result.

 

2. Stay true to ourselves. Maintaining old relationships is a form of people-pleasing that can leave us feeling guilty, depleted, resentful and less in tune with our own needs.

 

3. Hurt less people. When we drag a relationship out after it’s expiry date, meeting up can feel uncomfortable, upsetting and anxiety-provoking for both people involved.

 

4. Honour the relationship we had with that person. Being truthful is one of the best ways to honour and respect those we cared about. Similarly, to a romantic relationship, we all prefer an explanation and a goodbye to being ghosted or given false hope.

 

Leaving old relationships behind doesn’t mean we’ve lost valuable time either. Is our time in a job we loved less valuable because we had to leave? Is a moment on holiday less beautiful because we had to go home? Are the special moments with our grandparents meaningless because they’ve passed away? No. So why is letting go of relationships any different?

 

Ultimately, it is the quality, rather than the length of any relationship that matters most.

 

So ask yourself this, if every relationship has its value in helping us to learn and evolve, is any relationship a waste of time? And if the process of loss, allows us to get one step closer to our happiness, then is it a loss at all?